D-A-T-I-N-G. It’s one of those things better not said out loud. You know when you’re around your kids and you need to spell out bedtime because it’s worse than dropping the ‘F’ bomb? This is the equivalence of bedtime for adults. How many articles have you read related to dating? Do you know how many I’ve read? Do you know how many apply to me? I’m in the double digits. Now, throw a 25-year-old mom into the dating scene and you’re basically asking to witness a miracle happen. It’s hard AF.
Up until about a year ago, I kept Sofia a secret to any potential new guys. As in, Instagram private with absolutely no chance of viewability, no words related to parenting uttered from my mouth, and definitely no visits to the apartment where paintings and award certificates hang on my fridge with the occasional Shopkin wedged into a corner. If you know me, 97% of the words that come out of my mouth are in some way related to Sofia. I am THAT mom. How can I be one person to the world and another person with a complete stranger getting to know me? Id try to convince myself next time will be different. Next time came and it was history repeating itself. For a long time I tried to find a reasoning behind it but I wasn’t looking hard enough. It was like when we were kids and couldn’t find something so we called our mom to help. She found it from 20 feet away with her eyes closed. Were we even looking? It was my fear of rejection. I didn’t want to be rejected for the most precious thing in my life. I worked so hard to impress people by not fitting the stereotype and here I was thinking I was not “good” enough. Was I being rejected or was she? We all have a running checklist for physical appearances and character traits we want in our significant other. Unfortunately, a single mom is not something you find on a list.
I remember my first and only rejection I ever received due to Sofia. I cried, ugly cried. Left the office, called my best friend, and ugly cried. He came back (because all boys come back) and apologized 6 months later. He was 24 at the time. In boy years you’re looking at about 16. I accepted the apology and we dated for about a year. Stupid, stupid Sam move. Guess we live and learn, right? At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. We’ll call him Bryan.
If it wasn’t for Bryan, I wouldn’t get the courage to stop caring what a boy thought of me on a surface level. Not that a girl or woman should ever care what a boy thinks of them on any level. If Sofia is/was a deal breaker, then I didn’t/don’t want your deal, ever. I was open to having my private Instagram viewed by men I was interested in. Sofia became a casual dinner conversation. I no longer had an unsettling feeling in my heart and mind.
Now, I don’t believe I should give such a (insert every negative adjective to describe a person here) human being so much credit. Not all men are terrible human beings – they are some of my closest friends! They know the worst part about me, and they choose to stick around. Some of them would even date me! 😉 And based on how my dating situation is going, I’ll probably marry one of them. Side tracked over here! My point is, there are plenty of people who find you a catch other than your mom and dad. Don’t let a fear, person, your negative thoughts define you. Use everything to your advantage and let all the positivity in your life become the paint for your canvas. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing so many happy individuals on Facebook and Instagram who have been fortunate enough to find a significant other that is not the parent of their child. You give me hope! One day, I will find someone for me. We all will! Sofia will ask him for money, lots of it, all the time. She will also be grateful that a man has finally moved into our apartment (she’s been requesting one like it’s a puppy). He will love her because she’s a good hearted human being. Till then, I will be riding the roller coaster of millennial dating.